Today’s guest post follows Crystal Naldi through five major revisions she made while writing A Man’s Fight, a dark underground romance. I especially loved the addition of Patrick’s painted nails. Curious what I’m talking about? Read on to discover how that small detail, along with four other key changes, helped shape the story. Along the way, you’ll pick up novel revision tips you can apply to your own manuscript.
By Crystal Naldi
When I first imagined A Man’s Fight, I knew three things: I wanted underground fighting, dangerous attraction, and a main character who was trying to take back power after feeling powerless. Everything else took a few rounds in the cage.
The earliest version of the story was rawer and a lot messier. It had the bones of the book I eventually published, but not the heart yet, leaning more toward bare-knuckle chaos than emotional consequence. The fights and the heat were there. The bruises were definitely there.
But during revisions, I realized Patrick Boss’s story could not just be about what happened to his body in the ring. It also had to capture what happened to his identity, pride, desire, and sense of self.
Here are five of the biggest changes I made while revising A Man’s Fight.
Change #1: I Cut Back the “Fight, Heat, Repeat” Structure
In the earliest version, the story had a much more episodic setup. Patrick would enter the underground, face different fighters, and each fight was going to lead into a much more sensual encounter.
At the time, that sounded fun, dramatic, and dangerous. Very “what terrible decision will this man make next?”
But the more I worked on the book, the more I realized that structure was sending the story in the wrong direction. Instead of building Patrick’s emotional journey, it risked turning the book into a parade of fights and hookups. That can work for some stories, but this one needed something sharper and more mature.
Patrick is not just chasing danger. I also wanted to show him trying to understand who he becomes when pushed past fear. Angry, wounded, and curious about his own strength, he’s drawn to desire in ways that scare him.
So I scaled back the original structure and made the intimacy more compelling. The book became less about “how much can happen?” and more about “what does this cost him?”
Change #2: I Tied the Romantic Lead More Deeply to the Underground
Originally, the romantic lead was going to discover Patrick’s involvement from the outside. He would see him leaving the underground and realize Patrick had been keeping a secret.
That version worked on a basic plot level, but it lacked bite.
The better version came when I tied the romantic lead more directly into the danger, secrecy, and temptation of the underground itself. Suddenly, the romance was happening inside the main plot rather than adjacent to it. Every look, confrontation, and charged moment had more impact because the attraction was tangled up with the same world Patrick was struggling to survive.
Instead of one character just reacting to Patrick’s secret, the romance became part of the secret, making the relationship feel more dangerous and intimate.
That reminded me how romance shouldn’t feel pasted onto the story. In a strong romance, the love interest should complicate the hero’s deepest problem and make the plot worse in the best possible way.
Change #3: The Underground Became a Whole World, Not Just a Place to Fight
At first, the underground was much simpler. I pictured something closer to a gritty open-floor fight club: shirtless guys, bare knuckles, blood, sweat, and a crowd hungry for violence.
It had atmosphere, but it did not have mythology yet. During revisions, I started asking myself what would make this underground feel unforgettable. Why would people come here? Why would fighters risk themselves here? What would make Patrick feel like he had stepped into a place with its own rules, symbols, and rituals?
That is when the world became more theatrical. The fights moved away from a plain open-floor setup and became more structured, stylized, and dangerous. Masks and fighter identities became important, and the space itself evolved into a stage where men were not just fighting, but performing versions of themselves.
That revision changed the tone of the entire book, turning the underground into a place where Patrick could be watched, judged, desired, hurt, and transformed. I used the setting to seduce the characters and dare them to become someone they’re not sure they are ready to be.
Change #4: I Added a Stronger Power Structure
In the earliest version, I did not really have one central figure controlling the underground. The story had fighters, spectators, and danger, but it lacked a strong sense of who was benefiting from all that chaos.
Once I started building a clearer power structure behind the underground, the book gained more tension. No longer random events, the fights were part of a system where someone had control. Someone was watching and understood how to turn violence, secrecy, and spectacle into power.
Patrick was not just walking into a dangerous room anymore; he was walking into someone else’s game.
It also gave Patrick something bigger to push against. Rather than just fighting other men, he was challenging the world they were all trapped inside.
Change #5: I Gave Smaller Details More Meaning
Some revisions are huge structural changes while others are tiny details that suddenly reveal the character better than a whole paragraph of explanation.
For Patrick, one of those details became his nails.
When I first thought of the story, I did not imagine him painting his nails in pride colors. That came later, but once it appeared, it felt like it had always belonged there.
The nails gave Patrick a visual way to carry defiance on his body. They were vulnerable and bold at the same time. In a world built around fists, blood, and masculine performance, painted nails became a sign of rebellion.
That is the kind of detail I love: something small enough to miss at first glance, but strong enough to tell you who a character is.
Another smaller-but-important revision involved moving a romantic complication from another project into this one. I will keep that vague to avoid spoilers, but it was one of those writer moments where a subplot raises its hand from the wrong story and says, “Actually, I belong over there.”
That subplot raised the emotional stakes around Patrick’s choices, making the romance messier and the longing more complicated. It gave the story another layer of “this would be easier if everyone wanted simple things, but of course they don’t.”
Want to Read the Rest of the Book?
The version of A Man’s Fight I first imagined was rougher, sexier, and much more straightforward. The version I published became something stronger: a dark enemies-to-lovers M/M romance about violence, desire, identity, pride, and the dangerous thrill of being seen by the exact person who could ruin you.
A Man’s Fight is a novella set in an underground fighting world of masks, blood, pride, and dangerous attraction. Patrick Boss is a closeted, sensitive gay man who enters the underground searching for power after feeling powerless. What he finds is a world built on violence, secrets, and desire — and a man who makes the fight feel personal in ways Patrick is not ready for.
The book is available now in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook formats.
Readers can learn more about A Man’s Fight, watch the trailer and short film, and find purchase links here:
Crystal Naldi writes gritty M/M romance with blood, bruises, big feelings, and men who probably need therapy before they start kissing each other — but where would the fun be in that?
She is the author of A Man’s Fight and the creator of the You Fight Like a Girl series, a dark romance/fighting saga about survival, identity, and love in violent worlds. Her work often blends cinematic action, emotional intensity, queer romance, and a little bit of chaos.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Christmas always brings a little extra magic into the world, and it’s no surprise that many writers dream about writing a Christmas story of their own. If that’s you, you’ll love today’s guest post from G.R. Saunders, a former teacher and lifelong storyteller who beautifully captures the wonder of the season in her book Edgar’s Christmas Wish.
G.R. shares simple, practical tips to help you shape your own holiday story—whether you’re writing for your kids or hoping to publish.
Christmas is that wonderful time of the year when magic seems to abound everywhere. We are bombarded with advertisements of all kinds, showing us the lights and sounds of this most festive of seasons. We see dancing reindeer and polar bears sharing joy and good wishes with each other, trees covered in sparkling ornaments, and lights, elves and Santa Claus.
You may have thought about writing a Christmas story to read to your children, and maybe trying to get it published, too. You would not be alone with that thought. In fact, you might be surprised at how many famous authors have also written a Christmas book!
A few things you might want to consider: Christmas stories run the gamut from very serious to a complete frolic.
If you are writing for an adult audience, you can write about anything from wartime Christmas stories to nostalgic memories of childhood days, and almost anything else. Many magazines are always on the lookout for feel-good stories of “the good old days” that they feature in their holiday issues.
However, if you want to write a children’s Christmas book, there are a few things you need to know.
TIP #1: Decide the Age Level of Your Christmas Story
First, you need to be certain what grade level you are writing for. There is a huge gap between age groups as children grow. Picture books, which are very popular, are usually designed to be read aloud by a grownup, while chapter books are aimed at older children able to read for themselves. If you want to get your children’s book published, you need to be very clear which group you are writing for.
There are six categories of children’s books. They are:
Board books – Average age is from ages 0-to-3
Picture books – Average age is from ages 3-to-8
Early readers – Average age is from ages 5-to-8
Chapter books – Average age is roughly 6-to-10
Middle grade novels – Average age is roughly 8-to-12
YA (or young adult) novels – Average age is roughly 12-to-18
TIP #2: Know Word Counts for Children’s Christmas Books
Word count is critical for writing a children’s book. You may have the best story idea ever thought of, but if your word count is too high, you will need to cut it down to fit the category you are aiming for.
If you look at children’s books that are already out there, you will notice that some of them may only have one or two words on an entire page! Here are some other typical word counts:
Board books – 0-to-100 words maximum
Picture books – Typically 500words,maximum 1,000 words
Early readers – Typically 1,000-to-2,500 words
Chapter books – Commonly 4,000-to-15,000 words
Middle grade novels – Commonly 25,000-to-50,000 words (sometimes 60,000+)
YA novels – Commonly 50,000-to-90,000+ words depending on genre
TIP #3: Choose a Unique Angle When Writing a Christmas Story
Now, what will you write about?
Christmas magic is all-powerful in most children’s books. This is a time when even the thought of reindeer that fly is perfectly acceptable. With that in mind, you want to present a different take on such holiday themes. This is important because there is a LOT of competition. How can you make YOUR story stand out from all the others out there? Think about an elf’s Christmas experience.
Remember Hermey, the elf who really wants to be a dentist instead of a toymaker? We remember Hermey because we can all relate to having a dream that may or may not come true. Hermey’s struggle draws us in and makes us care about him, even if he is a fictitious character.
In my Christmas children’s book, “Edgar’s Christmas Wish,” the main character is a tree who wants more than anything to be a Christmas tree and celebrate the holiday with a family. Edgar is very aware that he is not as tall as the other trees, and he hopes he will be chosen, anyway. Children can identify with Edgar because his situation is like hoping to be chosen for a sports team at school. This element makes Edgar’s story stand out from other stories about Christmas.
TIP #4: Lessons You Can Learn From Popular Christmas Books
Study popular titles in your category. Take the time to visit the “kid lit” section of your local library or bookstore to see what is already out there. Is there a place where your book would fit?
If you are writing a picture book, you can look at one of the versions of the classic “The Night Before Christmas” by Clement Moore. Even though it was first published in 1823, this familiar Christmas tale still sells copies, year after year.
If you want a more serious tone, check out Truman Capote’s “A Christmas Memory,” a nonfiction account of a boy’s Christmas with a beloved elderly cousin during the Great Depression.
A more modern nonfiction story is “The Christmas Owl” by Gideon Sterer and Ellen Kalish. This is the true story of a little owl who was trapped in the bindings of a tree selected for the Rockefeller Center in New York City and would especially appeal to children interested in the natural world.
And from across the pond, check out the nostalgic “An Irish Country Christmas” by the beloved Irish writer Alice Taylor. This novel would be a wonderful read-aloud selection for older children.
If you are looking for simple, joyful frolic of a book, look no further than “Snowmen at Night” by Carolyn Buehner.
TIP #5: Understanding the Role of Illustrations in Picture Books
A word about illustrations.
Thinking about “Snowmen at Night” brings up something absolutely critical to any children’s book–illustrations.
This is one area that is completely different from novel writing. With a novel, you need to be concerned with an appealing cover and back blurb. With a children’s book, you need to think about illustrations throughout the book. If you are writing a picture book, you will need an illustration on every page. Every Single Page.
Today’s picture books are not like in the old days, when an illustration was on one page, and the story text was on the other. Modern picture books have illustrations on every page, combined with the text. This requires some critical planning as to where to position the text, so it works with the illustrations. This means that sometimes the text should appear at the top of a page, sometimes on the bottom, or anywhere else where it would fit with the illustration. You may need to enlist the talents of a layout artist to help with this.
With all of this to think about, one more thing you must consider: Unless you are a gifted artist, it would be wise to hire a professional illustrator/graphic artist if you are self-publishing. If you are working with an established publishing house, they will match you with an artist of their choosing.
You need to remember this cardinal rule of children’s books: Your illustrations can make or break the success of your book!
I’m sure we have all seen children’s books that had a great story, but the cover and illustrations screamed “amateur!” If you are writing for friends and family and/or a local audience, this may not be a problem, but if you want your book to be competitive with books in bookstores and libraries, a poorly done cover and illustrations will practically guarantee that your book will be passed over in favor of another with artwork that grabs attention.
Let’s use “Snowmen at Night” as an example.
Starting with the cover, the “double life” of snowmen is suggested by a daytime view of snowmen standing in front of houses, but the bottom half of the cover suggests that these same snowmen have a secret life after dark.
This theme is perfectly continued inside the book, wherein the ordinary daytime snowmen are transformed after dark into happy beings that frolic down the street into the park, meet and play games and go sledding with other snowmen, and then drag themselves back home before the sun comes up the next day.
You will notice that the text varies throughout the book, even cascading downhill with snowmen sledding down the hill on their sleds. The bright, cheerful colors, happy illustrations, and expressive faces of the snowmen completely support the story.
That’s what you want–all parts of the book work together to form a complete story experience for your readers.
Final Thoughts: Why Writing a Christmas Story Matters More Than Ever
You may have concluded from reading all of this that writing for children is a whole lot of trouble, and maybe it is. But what an important work it is!
Some writers may think that writing stories for children is beneath them, but I beg to differ. Of course, it is grand to think of writing the “Great American Novel”, and yes, it is.
While it is also wonderful to write history, biographies, romance (who doesn’t love a good love story?), think for a moment of the impact a good child’s book has on helping to form the child into a future adult.
Think of children’s stories as cultural builders for children that reinforce the values of society. Children’s books can help parents and teachers show children the importance of such ideas as kindness, sharing, or patience, not by lecturing the child, but by letting the child see for himself/herself these qualities through a story. That is why these ideas stay with a child and become part of who he/she grows up to be. Think of the lesson of “The Little Engine That Could” which reinforces the idea that “I think I can, I think I can, I know I can…”
So, if you have dreams of writing for children, go for it! A noble calling indeed.
I wish you luck.
About the Author
G.R. Saunders is a former teacher who grew up in a house filled with books and music. She has been reading and writing stories since she was a child. She believes that childhood should be a special time filled with wonder, discovery, and learning; a time for dreaming and enjoying the world of imagination; where animals can talk, sing and dance. A time for hopes and dreams.
In addition to writing, she enjoys sewing and design, knitting, and traveling. She is also active in animal welfare causes. She would love to hear from you!
Meet Edgar, the little tree with a big heart! Edgar’s greatest wish is to become a Christmas tree and celebrate Christmas with a family.
Will he ever see his wish come true?
In this classic Christmas story for children of all ages, Edgar must learn that Christmas is more than magic or fancy decorations and lights. It’s a simple beauty that shines from the inside out. It’s all about love, and love comes from the heart.
If you’re looking for more holiday-themed inspiration, you might enjoy my children’s bookThe Flag Keeper, a patriotic story that’s perfect for teaching kids about respect and responsibility around national holidays.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
For just $49, you’ll receive lifetime access to the replay, slides, course materials, and bonus session, all hosted in the Shortcuts for Writers Thrivecart dashboard.
If you haven’t met Beth, she teaches science fiction and fantasy novelists how to write, edit, and publish their books, and find their readers, as a coach, teacher, consultant, and developmental editor. She’s an award-winning fantasy and science fiction novelist and runs the podcast, “How To Write The Future.”
To learn more about NLP and the workshop, read my interview with Beth below.
What is NLP and how can it benefit writers? Is it for mindset, motivation, developing your story, or all of the above?
NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming and it can benefit writers in lots of different ways. I primarily use it for mindset, motivation, overcoming writer’s block, dealing with the intrusive editor’s voice, and also to develop characters, refine character arcs, and support the writing process or workflow and enhance creative flow.
When you Google NLP, the types of techniques sound technical. Could you give us a brief overview in layman’s terms about what type of techniques fall under the umbrella of NLP? Are they techniques that people should just do once, or on a regular basis?
Sure, another way to think about NLP is what it can do for us. NLP can help us get clear on our internal habits, so that we can change them. Our habits lead to outcomes. NLP helps us become aware of our internal thought processes that lead to the outcomes we want. NLP uses a talking modality, a sequence of questions and answers to gain insight into how you’re really processing reality, so that you can shift and change toward your goal. You can use the simple techniques and tools all the time on new issues or concerns. The way I was trained is a transformational heart-centered approach helping people change without shaming who you are or were.
The simple tools I teach writers and I use with my clients are about asking questions—asking questions with curiosity, openness, and with a sense that we humans are very resourceful but we don’t always have access to them. NLP helps us have access to more inner resources and create the gentle habits to lead us to the outcome we’d like.
How did you get interested in NLP and how has it helped you with your writing?
I got interested in NLP at a business training years ago. The trainers used NLP to help people get clear on their goals and understand how often the things we think are in our way are not really what’s in our way. NLP is a way of understanding and tracking how humans are wired and how we grow, learn, and change. These business trainers had embedded NLP inside of the business tools they were teaching us. They told us they both trained at NLP Marin, so I checked it out, and then did their practitioner program—over 600 hours of training and practice.
These tools have not only helped me as a writer, but they also have helped me in every area of my business. Now I understand better how humans code reality so I can shape characters with more precision, I can edit with more awareness and can use these tools to get unstuck when I’m stuck with my story. It’s not the only toolkit I use but it is definitely one of the things I use to help me write compelling fiction.
How has learning NLP helped you with developing characters?
One of the benefits of these NLP tools is that once you use them for creating a change in yourself then it’s hard to remember what it was like before the change. I was going through my NLP practitioner certification training while working on books two and three in my Henrietta The Dragon Slayer series, and it made understanding my characters so much easier than I had experienced in book one. But it’s hard to chalk that up to only NLP. It could also have been connected to just growing and learning as a novelist.
Still, one of the things that I do put a lot of attention to when I’m story planning is a character’s change in their sense of self from the beginning of the book to the end of the book. I really got clear from the NLP training that for a character to face the big crisis and overcome it in the climax of the story, usually there has to have been an internal shift in their sense of self or in some primary belief that they held at the beginning of the story. I know I got this learning and this awareness from the NLP training. And now I teach it in my story planning and character development workshops and also part of our NLP for Fiction Writers Workshop.
What do you hope authors will come away with after this workshop?
My hope Is that authors will come away with a few exercises that they can use whenever they are stuck and a few exercises that they can use to craft compelling characters or to edit better characters for their novels.
Do you have anything else to add?
NLP has gotten a bad rap over the years because people have used it to manipulate others. But what is language really? What are we really doing with our novels? We are actually willingly manipulating the emotions of our readers to give them an outcome they desire. So like any tool NLP can be used for good or ill.
ABOUT BETH
Award-winning novelist and international writing teacher, Beth Barany, writes magical tales of romance, mystery, and adventure that empower women and girls to be the heroes of their own lives. She is the award-winning author of the YA fantasy series, Henrietta The Dragon Slayer, and the sci-fi mystery space station investigator series, starting with the award-winning, Into The Black, and of the acclaimed sweet paranormal romance Touchstone series.
Beth has also written books for writers, including Plan Your Novel Like A Pro, co-written with her husband, thriller writer Ezra Barany. Beth is currently at work on the fifth Janey McCallister science fiction mystery novel. Also, a Master NLP Practitioner, and certified creativity coach for writers, Beth runs a mastermind program for science fiction and fantasy writers to unleash their story’s potential and transform their draft into a publish-ready masterpiece and find their readers. She also facilitates and consults on Creative Entrepreneurship for fiction writers. A specialist in world building, Beth runs the podcast, How To Write The Future, and helps writers create positive, optimistic stories, because when we vision what is possible, we help make it so.
Learn how NLP, or neurolinguistic programming, boosts writing productivity and writing quality for authors. This approach is a gentle tool fostering self-acceptance while achieving desired outcomes effortlessly.
This workshop empowers writers at all levels to enhance their skills and overcome hurdles. You’re invited to engage curiosity and playfulness to refine your craft and improve your creative process.
In this hands-on workshop, we’ll explore:
– NLP’s advantages in learning new skills
– How to harness the senses to enrich your storytelling
– How to connect to the readers’ experiences
– A tool to beat procrastination and focus on writing
Perfect for writers seeking to enhance their skills, in this workshop, you’ll gain practical techniques to clarify your creative goals, expand your writer toolkit, and conquer writing challenges.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Recently, I was featured on three podcasts for writers and book lovers, and wanted to tell you a little bit about each appearance. As you may know, I LOVE talking about books and writing. I’m grateful to have had the chance to do both during these interviews.
Between the Covers
First, host Stephanie Larkin of Red Penguin Books interviewed a few contributing writers to the new release, Launch Pad: The Countdown To Writing Your Book. This craft book is designed to help writers navigate the emotional ups and downs of finishing a novel, and was led by Emma Dhesi and Grace Sammon.
The episode features interviews with Susanne Dunlap, author of The Courtesan’s Daughter and a certified book coach; Meredith Stoddard, author of The River Maiden: Once & Future Series; Carol Van Den Hende, author of Goodbye, Orchid; and myself.
We discussed our writing processes, what’s inside the Launch Pad book, and valuable tips for writers.
I also had a lively discussion with Liz Bullard on the eReads Podcast. We discussed things like the perfect desk chair and how my chiropractor reprimanded me for working on my recliner. ☹️
Last year, when I was having neck and upper back soreness, he advised me to buy an ergonomic desk chair with a headrest. Some of you know my obsession with office supplies.
I mean, it takes me 45 minutes to pick out pens. Imagine how long it took for me to pick out a $300 chair.
I felt like Goldilocks, sitting on all the office chairs at Staples.
Too hard.
Too soft.
Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything just right, but I found one that was comfortable enough . . .
Well, after I bought a special cushion on Amazon.
I still occasionally use my Chromebook on my recliner, but I’m much more aware of my posture!
Anyway, Liz and I talked about a lot more than desk chairs and chiropractors.
During the episode, Liz also asked me to share a writing prompt. I gave her one that I used to use a lot: I remember. All you do is free write starting with the words, I remember . . . and see what comes out.
Last but not least, my good friend Kat Caldwell interviewed me on her Pencils & Lipstick podcast. This was the third or fourth time I’ve been on the show, and Kat and I always have a good time. The topic of the day was body language and nonverbal communication.
We delved into what those terms mean for writers, why it’s important, common mistakes that writers make, how to freshen up your characters’ emotions, and how to write creative emotional descriptions. You can listen to the episode here or watch it on YouTube below.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Author and writing instructor Sarah Elisabeth Sawyer helps authors confidently write Native American characters through her amazing course Fiction Writing: American Indians. Below, she shares 6 novels that portrayed Native Americans authentically and why these are her picks.
Here’s Sarah with her guest post.
If you want to learn how to write about Native Americans, one of the best ways to start is by reading good books. As a tribal member of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma and author of 15 historical fiction books that feature Native main characters, I’ve compiled a list of 6 books which I feel accurately and authentically portray Native people and cultures.
First, I want to mention that we too often think of American Indians as being a novelty of the old West in the 1800s, or Squanto and Pocahontas and first contact. Though the books on this list are historical fiction (my favorite genre), Native people are alive and well today. Many of these books were written by those very much alive Native people.
I hope these stories inspire you to dig deep when you’re working to create genuine, non-stereotypical American Indian characters.
The Star That Always Stays
Shelved as a young adult novel, this coming of age story follows the true life story of Norvia. She’s a gentle soul with heartbreaking moments at a tender age—her father’s dislike of her Ojibwe blood, and her mother’s remarriage and her request of Norvia—to tell no one of her heritage.
I appreciate so many things in this story. It shows a young girl living in two worlds and embracing both without losing either in the end. I especially loved the character of the Native grandfather, and how authentic he was in action and speech. While I typically steer authors away from falling into the stereotype of the “wise guide” role for Natives, in this story, it’s a natural fit.
We should look to our elders for wisdom and guidance. The beautiful thing about this book is, a “wise guide” is not the only reason for the character.
The main character is on a journey of her own, one removed from the mystical stereotype we often see when Native characters are featured. She’s a regular girl with regular hopes, dreams, mistakes, and heartache. And she’s strongly Ojibwe.
The Star that Always Stays was written by Anna Rose Johnson (Sault Ste. Marie Chippewa Tribe). This novel is directly based on her great-grandmother.
I have certain pages of this book that I come back to again and again. One is a scene in a kitchen where a cluster of Choctaw women chatter about the men in the other room. There’s something about the dialogue that rings so true, I feel I’m in the kitchen, chuckling along with them.
There is another scene where a pastor contemplates violent revenge. I’ve read it over and over.
This book influenced my first novel (The Executions, Choctaw Tribune Historical Fiction Series Book 1), set in the same years (1890s), a tumultuous time for the old Choctaw Nation in Indian Territory. It’s a hard time of injustice, tragedy, and hope.
Strong oral storyteller traditions comes through on the written pages of House of Purple Cedar, blending Native humor and thought-provoking questions for today.
I agree with Joseph Bruchac, who said of the book, “There is nothing else quite like it in its loving, clear-eyed description of a people, a time, and a place that are little-known to most.”
House of Purple Cedar was written by Tim Tingle (Choctaw).
I deeply appreciate how this author wrote an accurate and respectful story of Native history and culture. Based on the true story of Natalie Curtis, it ventures from the east coast in New York to humble dwellings of the Yuma people, and on to several tribes as Natalie finds her place and purpose in the West. She begins to sympathize with the tragic history of Native people in the early 1900s, and sets out to preserve beauty from their culture that is being stripped, song by song.
There were many whites in this time period who knew Native culture was being erased from history. In fact, Indian people were labeled the “vanishing race.” Whites like Natalie fought against the erasure, while knowing much was inevitable. Natalie saved what she could.
This book asks the hard question we still ask today: Should non-Natives write Native stories?
I talk about this topic a great deal, and created a digital course, Fiction Writing: American Indians, to equip authors of any ethnic background how to write about Native Americans accurately and respectfully.
I feel this book achieves that.
The Healing of Natalie Curtis was written by Jane Kirkpatrick.
When writing my own novel Anumpa Warrior: Choctaw Code Talkers of World War I, I came back to this book again and again. Code Talker tells the story of the Navajo Code Talkers in WWII from the perspective of Ned Begay, a youth who was among those young Marines off to fight a war on foreign soil.
This young adult novel shows challenges for the multiple races in the United States Military beyond the horrors of war. We learn the true background of many of the Diné (Navajo) who went to fight—what their growing up years were like, and what hardships they faced during them.
Drawing inspiration and facts from interviews with code talker veterans, the author gives an entertaining, enlightening account of the true Navajo Code Talkers of WWII.
Code Talker was written by Joseph Bruchac (Abenaki).
This is a tragic yet gentle story of a little girl who is torn from her home and her family during the Choctaw Removal period of the 1830s.
Though shelved as a children’s book, I hold on to the words of the author who believes that Native stories should be told the same for an eight year old as an 80-year-old.
You feel that in the pages of Rising Fawn as you experience the depth of a family’s love, the great loss of homelands, and the hope of a kind white couple who gives Rising Fawn a new chance at life.
This is a quiet read that can touch your soul in a few words with striking depth and rhythm.
I included Rising Fawn and the Fire Mystery in my anthology of Choctaw Removal stories: Touch My Tears: Tales from the Trail of Tears.
Rising Fawn and the Fire Mystery was written by Marilou Awiakta (Cherokee).
Reading this book makes you wonder how much personal tragedy one woman can endure. We explore that through Little Bird—Esther McLish—as she overcomes life’s tragedies one at a time.
This is another story set in the 1890s when justice and fairness was at a minimum. Esther has few places and people to turn to as she fights to get her son enrolled on the final Chickasaw Nation rolls.
Based on true events and written by a descendent of the main character, it masterfully weaves the history together in a way that keeps the story moving while peeling back layers of tribal histories, customs, and truths.
Little Bird was written by Mary Ruth Barnes (Chickasaw).
Hopefully, this brief list of books will help you on your journey to writing American Indian characters. If you want next level learning, I invite you to check out my digital course, Fiction Writing: American Indians.
Fiction authors who want to write about Native Americans face a challenging minefield riddled with dos and don’ts. That’s why I created this course.
Through it, authors are equipped to write authentic stories that honor First Americans history and culture. Discover more at FictionCourses.com/AmericanIndians.
There, you can also download a free copy of my ebook, “5 Stereotypes to Avoid When Writing about Native Americans.”
Chi pisa la chike, my fellow author. I will see you again soon.
About the Author
Fiction authors who want to write about Native Americans face a challenging minefield riddled with dos and don’ts, and no clear answers. That is why author and writing instructor Sarah Elisabeth Sawyer created the Fiction Writing: American Indians digital course.
As a tribal member of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma, she has written and published 15 historical fiction books with Native main characters, and over 275 non-fiction articles on Native artists and organizations with representatives from dozens of North American tribes.The Smithsonian’s National Museum of the American Indian honored her as a literary artist through their Artist Leadership Program for her work in preserving Choctaw Trail of Tears stories, and she is a First Peoples Fund Artist in Business Leadership alumni.
Through her in-depth, honest course, authors are equipped to write authentic stories that honor First American’s history and culture. Discover more at FictionCourses.com/AmericanIndians.
Affiliate links were included in this post, however, I only promote products that I recommend.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Looking for just the right balance of inspiration, skill building, and a toolbox of writing craft tips? I know just the resource for you. It’s a brand new craft book for writers to read, called LAUNCH PAD: The Countdown to Writing Your Book.
I’m excited to have a chapter included in this jam-packed guide for writers, which gives you the literal ‘launch pad’ for your first (or next!) book. I contributed a chapter on grammar and punctuation, and in it, I delve into the Oxford Comma and how to use it, colons and semicolons, ellipses, and much more.
If you’re intimidated by the thought of outlining your novel or creating rich and complex characters, or want to learn the secret to writing a great scene, Launch Pad has you covered. Learn why using the right point of view in your book is so important and how to choose the right one. Nail those pesky grammar and punctuation slip-ups once and for all and get yourself ‘query ready’.
You’ll also get practical advice on how to research smarter, which tools to use and what you can do if you want to go the extra mile; learn what book coaching is, how it differs from editing, how a coach helps you write your book, and how you can find the right coach for you; and get tips on writing scenes that grab readers’ attention, draw them into your characters’ lives and the world you’ve created, and build up to the big moments you’re working toward later on in the story.
Other topics include: developing suspenseful scenes that hook readers; exploring the principles of world building, the best tools for the job, and how to get off the world building merry-go-round; learning about personality types, understanding the role genre plays in the character you write about, and how to find your character’s inner flaw; why you need to both show and tell if you want to uplevel your craft and pull your reader right into your character’s mind; and where to find critique groups (both in-person and virtual), what you can expect from them, and how they’ll help your writing long-term.
You’ll also discover the three things a publishing gatekeeper wants: knowledge, sparkle, and an attention to detail. Each focused chapter of this book brings authors and would-be-authors closer to the creation of a story well-told and ready for publication.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Welcome to New York Times Bestselling Author Alina Adams, who is returning to the blog to share 5 changes she made to her latest book, My Mother’s Secret: A Novel of the Jewish Autonomous Region. Keep reading to get insight into Alina’s revising strategies on this intriguing historical fiction book, which is rooted in detailed research about a little known chapter of Soviet and Jewish history.
Change #1: The Beginning
The first draft of the book which became My Mother’s Secret: A Novel of the Jewish Autonomous Region opened with three chapters setting up the “present day” sequence—San Francisco, CA 1988. (When the bulk of the book takes place in the 1930s and 1940s, 1988 is “modern.”)
It introduced the heroine, Lena, her difficult relationship with her withholding mother, the death of her beloved father, her teenage daughter, and her controlling husband—as well as the man who would become a potential love interest in the future. The three chapters went into great detail about why Lena always felt unloved by her mother, and how her faltering marriage got to this state: Lena used to love that her husband made all of her decisions for her. It made her feel that he cared about her in a way that her mother did not. Now she feels smothered. Her husband’s not the one that changed; Lena is. She knows it and blames herself . . . but she still can’t help feeling like she wants out. It’s guilt about her daughter that’s making her stay.
However, the feedback I got was to get to the “good stuff”— the story of Lena’s mother and her desperate escape to Birobidzhan, the Jewish Autonomous Region on the border between Russia and China in the mid-1930s—faster.
So the original three chapters became a single prologue which, in the hardback version, now runs a tight 12 pages. I still hit all the main points, but much more compactly. You have to wait for Part Three to get the details. And learn how it all turns out.
Change #2: In the Name of the Father
The first lines of the book read: Lina Mirapolsky’s father was dying. Her husband was trying to get a discount on it.
The newly truncated prologue still opens with the death of Lena’s dad, and her surprise at the way her mother reacts to it.
In the first draft, Lena has always known that he’s her stepfather and adored him anyway.
In the rewrite, his cryptic, dying words send Lena on a hunt which reveals that the man who raised her wasn’t her biological father.
I initially deliberately avoided that, because it felt too cliched, but was ultimately convinced to put it in for the “wham” moment which closes out the prologue. Curious to hear what readers think!
Change #3: Straight Ahead
Part Two of My Mother’s Secret: A Novel of the Jewish Autonomous Region follows Lena’s mother, Regina, from the time a neighbor in her family’s Moscow communal apartment introduces 12-year-old Regina to the dream of Birobidzhan, getting her involved with the Yiddish-language newspaper she publishes as well as the historic figures committed to the cause of an independent Jewish homeland in the Soviet Union, until 18- year-old Regina is forced to flee Moscow to avoid being arrested along with her neighbor and all their compatriots.
In the original draft, the story is told chronologically. In the published version, we first meet Regina as she is fleeing, and the question of what she is fleeing from is left unanswered until much later in the story, when she is forced to confess all. The idea here is to set up suspense as to why Regina is on the run, what she is hiding, and her reasons for being so secretive with everyone she meets, including the man she starts to fall in love with.
Change #4: Slap, Slap, Kiss, Kiss
In my first pass, Regina’s initial meeting with her future love interest is full of antagonism. Regina smugly feels she knows what’s best for Birobidzhan because she’s read books about it better than Aaron, the man who has lived there for years. This leads to lots of witty banter—the kind I frankly, love to write. But it also made Regina come off as unlikable. (I was writing her as a know-it-all teen-ager who would eventually come to realize the error of her ways, wise up, mature, and admit her youthful folly. But I guess nobody wants to wait that long.)
Now, Regina is still cryptic with Aaron, but it’s because she has a secret she doesn’t want him to discover, and also because she is deliberately turned against him by a third party with his own agenda.
The pair still argues and banters, and I was even able to keep some of the same dialogue. But the context and motivation is different, making her less of a brat, and more of a scared kid.
Change #5: Where the Wind Takes You
My first idea for Regina’s story was to have it take place exclusively in Birobidzhan. The little-known history of the place, as well as the paranoid atmosphere—anyone could be arrested at any moment, everyone was always spying on their neighbors, loyalties were constantly shifting, and what was politically safe to say one day could, overnight, become treason—seemed ripe for gripping narrative possibilities.
But then, I decided to up the stakes. Historical fiction, especially featuring Jewish characters, has plundered every aspect of the Holocaust. There isn’t nearly as much written about what was happening at the same time in the Soviet Union.
The USSR lost over 24 million people in their “Great Patriotic War,” roughly half of them military, the other half civilian. The Russians then—as now—fight by throwing bodies at the enemy, treating them as disposable. And then there were the Nazi prisoner of war camps. Western powers were signatories to the Geneva convention. The Soviets were not. Even when they were kept in the same camp, American soldiers were treated much better than Soviet ones. (There’s a reason there were no Soviet prisoners having a goofy, fun time in Hogan’s Heroes.)
Once I did my research there, I decided to throw my heroes from the frying pan of Josef Stalin’s Great Terror into the fire of a Nazi POW camp.
After all, isn’t one aspect of compelling writing to make it seem like things can’t get any worse . . . and then make them get worse?
With his dying breath, Lena’s father asks his family a cryptic question: “You couldn’t tell, could you?” After his passing, Lena stumbles upon the answer that changes her life forever.
As her revolutionary neighbor mysteriously disappears during Josef Stalin’s Great Terror purges, 18-year-old Regina suspects that she’s the Kremlin’s next target. Under cover of the night, she flees from her parents’ communal apartment in 1930s Moscow to the 20th century’s first Jewish state, Birobidzhan, on the border between Russia and China. Once there, Regina has to grapple with her preconceived notions of socialism and Judaism while asking herself the eternal question: What do we owe each other? How can we best help one another? While she contends with these queries and struggles to help Birobidzhan establish itself, love and war are on the horizon.
New York Times Bestselling Author Alina Adams draws on her own experiences as a Jewish refugee from Odessa, USSR as she provides readers a rare glimpse into the world’s first Jewish Autonomous Region. My Mother’s Secret is rooted in detailed research about a little known chapter of Soviet and Jewish history while exploring universal themes of identity, love, loss, war, and parenthood. Readers can expect a whirlwind journey as Regina finds herself and her courage within one of the century’s most tumultuous eras.
Alina is the author of soap-opera tie-ins, figure skating mysteries, and romance novels. She was born in Odessa, USSR and moved to the US with her family in 1977. She has covered figure skating for ABC, NBC, ESPN and Lifetime, and worked for the soap-operas As the World Turns, Guiding Light, All My Children, and One Life To Live. Her historical fiction novels, The Nesting Dolls (2020) and My Mother’s Secret: A Novel of the Jewish Autonomous Region are based on a combination of family history and rigorous research.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
As a freelance developmental editor and line editor, I’ve worked on hundreds of manuscripts. Mysteries, suspense, romance, thrillers, science fiction, fantasy, historical, young adult, memoirs, essays, health, self-help. You’ve named it, I’ve probably edited it.
Despite the diverse categories, all those books have something in common. Each author has overused emotion words they fall back on in their writing. Crutch words weaken your voice and weigh down your story.
Want to know what the biggest culprit is?
You guessed it.
Look.
Looking.
Looked.
If you do a search in your manuscript, I’ll bet you find more “looks” than you expected. It’s not that you can never use look and its variations. It’s just that you shouldn’t overuse them. Some authors have one on every page, multiple times. Over a 300-page novel, that is one heck of a lot of looks.
Even if your overuse isn’t that extreme, chances are you’ve got more than you need. Most writers are stunned once I point it out to them.
The toolkit contains jam-packed cheat sheets of over 4,000 emotional prompts in 21 categories such as anger, annoyance and frustration, arrogance, boredom, compassion, confidence, and contemplation. And that’s just A-C! It also includes a walk-through video, overview of nonverbal communication for authors, examples from published books, a workbook, a list of helpful tips, and bonus resources.
Writers have raved about it, as you’ll see from the testimonials when you visit the landing page.
If you’d like to sample the Energize Your Writing Toolkit, then you can start by signing up for The Looks and Gazes Quickstart Guide. Discover more than 100 ways to describe your characters’ looks and gazes and start punching up those trite sentences. The cheat sheets come directly from the Energize Your Writing Toolkit.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
I’m sure you’ll enjoy this guest post on outlining from Rose Atkinson-Carter, a writer with Reedsy.
It’s one of the greatest debates in the #amwriting world: should you outline your novel before writing it, or should you pants it?
At the end of the day, the answer is simple: you should do whatever works best for you. That said, if you decide to give outlining a book a shot, stay alert. Outlining isn’t as clear-cut as copyrighting a book — there are many ways to go about it. And while it’s a process that works magic for many authors, there are still a number of pitfalls that you can fall into along the way.
So without further ado, here are the top five common mistakes that you should watch out for while outlining your own book.
1. Sticking too much to the outline
Many authors make the mistake of outlining their story, then thinking to themselves, “Well, now I have to follow this word-for-word for the rest of time.” But that couldn’t be further from the truth! AsCaptain Barbarossa in Pirates of the Caribbean says, “The outline is more like guidelines than actual rules.”
Which is to say, an outline exists to guide you to the end of your story — not to restrict you as you’re writing it. Things are always going to be different when you start writing. Scenes might be longer than you expect. Characters might be the complete opposite of what you expected. Writing is always an act of discovery, and sticking too much to an outline kills that creative process. Let your story breathe when it needs to.
2. Trying only one kind of outline
Like Jolly Ranchers, there are many flavors of outlines in the world — and any one of them could work for you, depending on what kind of a writing mood you’re in. For instance:
Do you have a jumbled mess of ideas in your head that might just come out to a story? You might want to try to mind map it first to organize all of your thoughts.
Do you already have a vague idea of your plot in mind, but don’t know how to flesh that out further? Then a beat sheet might be best for you.
Do you have a few key scenes in mind already? Then you might want to outline your story’s broad sequences —perhaps mapping it on the Three-Act structure — to get a sense of the overall arc of the story.
Trust me: there’s an outline for each writer out there. Just compare J.K. Rowling’s outlines to Joseph Heller’s! Their respective niches might have something to do with it: Harry Potter was, of course, published by YA publishers, meant to be read by a YA audience. As such, it was quite plot-oriented, which her outline reflects.
On the other hand, Joseph Heller’s outline for his literary fiction novel is much more character-focused. So don’t be afraid to branch out, depending on your genre. The most important thing is to keep experimenting to figure out which type of outline best suits your needs.
3. Neglecting the “big picture”
It’s easy to look at a completed outline and think that you have your entire story figured out. After all, you’ve got all of your scenes down on the page in front of you, haven’t you? Does that not a story make?
Not quite.
An outline might give you the skeleton of your book, easily affording you a bird’s eye view of all of your scenes at once. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve unlocked your themes yet—which is the heart of every story.
Themes and motifs most often emerge while you’re actually writing your book — that’s when you’ll start noticing patterns in the symbolism that you’re using and the messages that you’re conveying. Time and again, an author will only figure out what they’re trying to say only once they’ve finished the first draft. But if you’re outlining, never fear. As long as you keep this “big picture” top of mind while you’re constructing your scenes and sequences, then you’re already off to a running start.
4. Thinking of the outline as an extra step
If you ever find yourself thinking about your outline as a chore to get over with, or start to drag your feet whenever you return to your outline, stop. Drop your pencil. Turn to a blank page in your notebook. And just start writing your book.
You should think of the outline as the first step of your book, but the fun part is that it’s over whenever you want it to be over. You don’t necessarily need to plot out your entire story in order to have “officially” finished outlining. Even a broad sketch of your book’s arc is good enough to be your story’s guideposts in the future! After all, nobody’s grading your outline: it’s just a tool for you, so go along with it only as far as you need to.
So don’t feel compelled to outline every single nitty-gritty detail of your story. When you begin to see the outline as an extra step — not just the first — then that’s probably a sign that you’re ready to move on and start writing your book.
5. Spending too much time outlining
Last but not least, remember that an outline is not your be-all-end-all goal. It’s not the pot of gold at the rainbow. That should be your book. Not to mention that a first draft will always be subject to some rewriting anyway!
So don’t make the mistake that many authors make: spending so much time obsessing over their outline that they never get around to writing the actual book. There’s a point when outlining actually becomes counterproductive to your purposes because it’s stalling you from plunging ahead with your book.
Some authors find it difficult to move on from outlining because their outline has become too much of a safety net. Stepping out from that comfort zone to actually confront that blank page might be one scary leap, but take that leap with faith. Who knows? At the end of it, you might just emerge with a fully-formed book that’s ready to submit to publishers in the UK and all over the world — made all the better for the effort that you put into outlining it.
About the Author
Rose Atkinson-Carter is a writer with Reedsy, a marketplace that connects authors with the world’s best self-publishing resources and professionals like editors, designers, and ghostwriters. She lives in London.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
When most writers sit down to outline their characters, their first order of business is creating a character profile. These profiles are a lot like dossiers from spy movies. Just like 007’s file might contain details about his appearance, skills, and relationships, so too will your character’s profile.
However, when writing a novel, appearances and relationships aren’t enough.
Unlike the baddies in spy movies, you aren’t just out to kill your characters—at least not right away! Instead, you’re trying to create a vibrant, realistic person for your readers to latch on to, meaning you need to delve deep into what makes them who they are. From their goals and desires, to their darkest fears, history, and inner struggle, these are the elements that will truly bring your characters to life.
With that in mind, let me walk you through six things you should know before writing your novel’s cast!
6 Things to Know for Every Character You Write
#1 – Their Role in Your Novel:
First things first—you need to know what role your character plays in your story.
Are they your protagonist, or are they a villain? Are they a mentor, shadow, shapeshifter, or herald? Regardless of what their role is, knowing it ahead of time will help you better understand who this character is in the context of your story.
This distinction is important. Knowing your character as a person is great, but you also need to understand how they’ll shape your novel itself. After all, your novel’s hero will be very different than a sidekick or minor antagonist—and thus will require a different level of detail.
Example: Luke Skywalker is the protagonist of Star Wars: A New Hope, while Ilsa Lund is an ally and shapeshifter in the movie Casablanca.
#2 – Their Story Goal:
Next, your character’s story goal is the personal goal or motivation that defines their adventure. This is what will push them to get involved in your plot, and it’ll stick with them for the majority of your novel, shaping every decision they make along the way.
Because of this, story goals are a critical piece of the character development puzzle. Conflicting story goals often cause characters to fight, get into trouble, and generally spark the kinds of interesting, complex situations that make for a good story!
Luckily, finding your character’s story goal is fairly simple.
Ask yourself—what do they want to achieve throughout your novel? Why do they get involved with your plot in the first place? What motivates them to take action? Once you answer these questions, you should have a solid idea of what story goal your character is pursuing.
Example: Luke Skywalker’s story goal in Star Wars: A New Hope is to prove himself capable of becoming a Jedi, while Ilsa’s goal is to escape the Nazis with her husband.
#3 – Their Inner Struggle:
Of course, your characters can’t achieve their goals too easily. Alongside plot-related hurdles, they’ll also need to face a major internal challenge or obstacle in order to earn their success. This obstacle is their inner struggle. Also called their lie or wound, this is a harmful belief or inner conflict that holds your character back throughout their journey—meaning overcoming it is the real point of their quest.
Fortunately, much like the story goal, the easiest way to find a character’s inner struggle is by asking a few targeted questions. What does your character believe about themselves or their world? How does this prevent them from achieving their goals? What lesson will they need to learn throughout their journey? Are they successful?
Once you’re considered these questions, you should be able to sum up your character’s inner struggle in a sentence or two.
Example: Luke Skywalker’s inner struggle is the belief that he’s a simple farm boy who’s incapable of greatness. Meanwhile, Ilsa’s inner struggle is her belief that she can ignore her love for Rick.
Backstory is a tricky subject, because it’s easy to fill whole books with nothing but your character’s history. After all, we all have a list of life experiences that shape who we are, and the same is true for our characters. Every character you write will have some kind of past, and that past will influence their actions.
The question is, do you really need to write pages and pages of backstory?
Well, the short answer is no. Believe it or not, you only need to know one or two key events to understand your characters’ histories. These events are the most impactful experiences of their lives and are often the source of their inner struggle. So, think about the major events that define your characters! While you’re welcome to explore more of their backstory if you choose, these should be more than enough to provide context for who your characters are.
Example: Luke Skywalker was left with his aunt and uncle as a baby, meaning he spent his whole childhood daydreaming about his father’s life as a Jedi. As a result, he desperately wants to live up to his father’s legacy. Likewise, Ilsa’s backstory centers on her time in Paris with Rick, and the difficult decision she made to abandon Rick and return to save her husband when the Nazis invaded.
#5 – Their Character Arc:
Character arcs are a big topic in the writing world, and for good reason. Not only do arcs shape our characters’ personal journeys, but they often determine the kind of story we end up telling, too.
If you aren’t familiar with what a “character arc” is, this is the inner journey your character goes on throughout your novel. This arc can take one of three shapes:
A Positive Arc: Here your character learns to overcome their inner struggle and grow as a person, thus triumphing over the main conflict of their story.
A Negative Arc: Here your character ends up overwhelmed by their inner struggles, ultimately becoming a worse version of themselves and failing in their quest.
A Flat Arc: Here your character isn’t concerned with their own growth, but with guiding and teaching their world. To succeed in their arc, they must heal the inner struggle of the people around them.
Regardless of which arc your character follows, this arc will determine the path they take throughout your story—as well as how the other elements we’ve discussed play out. Do they learn and grow, wither and decay, or teach and heal?
Of course, not every character warrants an arc. Character arcs require a lot of time to develop, meaning they’re usually reserved for major characters like your protagonist, key allies, and your antagonist. Whether other character in your story warrant an arc is ultimately up to you!
Example: Luke Skywalker follows a positive arc, as does Ilsa. Both manage to overcome their inner struggle and succeed during the finale of their stories.
#6 – Their Beginning and End:
Finally, we come to your character’s “plot arc.”
You see, even characters without a character arc will still begin and end your story in different places. For instance, someone who starts your story a coward might eventually gain the courage to chart their own path—or they may fade into obscurity, unable to stand up for themselves. Likewise, a character who begins your novel as the school bully might end it isolated from their peers.
Whatever this journey looks like, identifying both its beginning and end (before you begin writing) will help ensure your characters remain dynamic. Even if their plot arc is subtle, it’ll still lend a sense of impact to your novel. After all, seeing characters change on the page is the best way to show your reader just how much your plot matters!
Example: Luke begins his story unsatisfied with his life as a farm boy and ends it as a hero of the rebellion. Ilsa begins her story running from the Nazis and lying to herself about her loyalties. She ends it having accepted that she can love Rick, while still standing by her husband.
————
In the end, these six elements should go a long way in helping you better understand your cast, and eventually turn that cast into a vibrant part of your novel.
Best of all, this information doesn’t have to take weeks and months to create! Grab a sheet of paper, jot down your character’s name, and then write a single paragraph for each of the components we discussed. By the time you’re done, I’m confident you’ll see your character with a fresh set of eyes.
More About Lewis
Lewis Jorstad is an author and developmental editor who helps up-and-coming writers hone their writing their craft over at The Novel Smithy. When he isn’t working on the next book in his Writer’s Craft series, you can find him playing old Gameboy games and sailing somewhere around the eastern half of the US. You can also check out his free ebook, The Character Creation Workbook, and grab a copy for yourself.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Hi, my name is Maureen Fisher. As a guest blogger onBehind the Rewrite, I’m delighted to share my editing experience at Stacy Juba’s competent hands.
After reading Stacy’s 10-page edit summary of Deadly Thanksgiving (A Senior Sleuth Mystery– Book 2), I realized I’d committed some unforgivable sins as an author. Aaaaaack!I’m told my wails terrified dogs five blocks away. After the dogs and finally Iquit howling, I proceeded to consume my body weight in chocolate accompanied bya vast quantity of redwine. I don’t recommend this combo.
Once I recovered, I re-read Stacy’s comments and—with great reluctance and eye rolling—I admitted that yeah,I had to make changes. Major changes.
All joking aside, Stacy Juba conducted what could have been a devastating edit with remarkable gentleness and compassion.Deadly Thanksgivingis now a stronger book, one I can be proud of.
These are mytop five changes, none of which an author wants to hear.
Change #1: Unsympathetic Protagonist
As backstory, my main protagonist (Clara, a co-owner of Grizzly Gulch Guest Ranch), hadindulged in a short but steamyaffair involving Hawk (a Mountie and her love interest in Deadly Thanksgiving) before fleeing home, dumping him in a text message then ghosting him. At the beginning of the book, they re-connect when a group of guests arrives along with a corpse bungeed into a seat of their mini coach.
Stacy pointed out that it would be helpful if we knew earlier in the story why Clara took off on Hawk without saying goodbye. That way, the reader would understand her motivations. As it stood, the explanation of why she’d leftcame too late, allowing readers to form an unfavorable impression of her.Also, when she first meets him again, she came across as defensive and a bit antagonistic when he’ddone nothing wrong. She was the one who just took off. No wonder he was upset.
No author ever wants to create an unsympathetic protagonist. It’s amazing how I hadn’t realized readers would not regard Clara with as much affection as I did. How could they? They’d only just met her.
My Solution:This was a vital, though relatively contained modification. Here is the final version in the scene where Hawk first confronts Clara about the breakup:
“How did you find me?” I asked.
‘I’ll explain later.”He removed his red Calgary Flames baseball cap and ran long fingers through his lovely dark hair threaded with more white strands than I remembered. He jammed his cap back on and took a deep breath. “I didn’t take you for a coward. A phone call warning me you’d dumped me and flown home, would also have been a nice touch.” His expression spoke of anger and something else, perhaps sadness.
Shame brought heat to my cheeks. Hawk had every right to be upset, but how could I admit I’d fallen in love with him and done the only thing I could think of to save myself from more heartache. I’d abandoned the unsettling thrill of romance in favor of safety, something that had been all too lacking during my traumatic childhood and painful marriage. Worse, like the coward I was, I’d broken the news in a polite text message containing an apology along with an assurance the fault was all mine, not his, because I was too damaged to conduct a normal relationship.
Although Hawk didn’t realize it, he was fortunate I’d stepped out of his life.
“How did you get assigned to this particular case?” I asked, side-stepping his very valid accusation of cowardice.
Change #2: Faulty Police Procedure
Stacy pointed out that the police procedure in Deadly Thanksgivingdidn’t ring true. While it is a cozy mystery, not a police procedural, Hawk came across as unbelievable as a police officer (Mountie) even for a cozy. Although the initial death did not appear to be a murder, procedure would dictate that he interview all of these suspects individually, not just as a group. I couldn’t do that because the book is written in my heroine’s point of view (first person), and I wanted readers to meet the suspects during the questioning. Also, it wouldn’t be realistic for a Mountie to partner with civilians on a case in an undercover investigation, so Clara couldn’t be his accomplice—something, as the author, I wanted her to be. Additionally, he wouldn’t just be able to simply abandon his other law enforcement duties to work 24/7 on this one case.
My Solution: Instead of making Hawka full-fledgedMountie, he became aretired Mountie and close friend of the officer-in-charge.That way, when several more attempted murdersoccur at Grizzly Gulch Guest Ranch, Hawkis able to pose as a family friend and move into one of the onsite guest suites to keep an eye on matters, essentially acting as an undercover agent. That way, it’s easy for him to participate in brainstorming sessions about the suspects, offer advice, and use his contacts to help move the investigation along.
Change #3: Heroine Needs to Do More Sleuthing, Less Deferring
Stacy gently pointed out that Clara doesn’t do much sleuthing other than talk to Hawk about what he’d found out through background checks and calling in favors. The investigation only moves forward because of his sleuthing.As the main protagonist, Clara should find out these things herself.
My Solution: Since Hawk was no longer the Mountie in charge, I was able to swap Clara in as an informal chief investigator. This was probably the most labor-intensive and complicated part of the rewrite as it affected most of the book. At the same time, I had to find alternative activities to keep both Hawk and the Mountie-in-charge busy while reflectingClara’s expanded role.
Change #4: Sagging Middle
Stacy mentioned that after a crisis during goat yoga, it felt as if a lot of time was spent on appeasing one of the characters, which made the pacing lag. For a few chapters, not much was happening with the mystery.
My Solution: I chopped a couple of chapters, had Clara placate the aggrieved party with gifts and a heartfelt apology, nothing elaborate involving decisions, planning, and a dramatic execution, none of which moved the plot ahead.
Change #5: Climax is Too Predictable
Stacy said, and I quote, “I liked the twist … but again, we lost the whodunnit/puzzle aspect early in the third act.”
My Solution: Sorry, no spoilers. You must read Deadly Thanksgiving to find out how I solved it and kept the villain’s identity a secret until the last possible moment.
“I had a number of laugh-out-loud moments and once actually, truly, spit out some tea.”
“So funny I almost had an accident. Laughed and laughed hysterically! Loved it! Absolutely fabulous!”
Hi, I’m Clara Foster, co-owner and event manager of Alberta’s Grizzly Gulch Guest Ranch. My two sisters and I inherited the place at an age when most sensible women contemplate retirement. No one ever called us sensible.
It has been an uphill struggle. Due to extensive damage from a rogue summer tornado, the only way to avoid foreclosure is to win a lucrative hospitality contest, and that requires multiple five-star reviews. Too bad the arrival of a mini-coach full of geriatric guests, one of them a corpse, threatens to derail our gala Thanksgiving event. Worse, the retired Mountie I dumped four months ago shows up seeking closure.
It soon is apparent (though not provable) that the deceased was murdered, and everyone on board the mini-coach has a motive. To compound matters, this is our second murder of the year. Our slogan might as well be, “Try Grizzly Gulch getaways; they’re to die for.” Our guests must never learn of another murder or we might as well kiss the contest goodbye and file for bankruptcy.
The only sensible solution is for me to join forces—and possibly a whole lot more—with my former flame to smoke out a killer while hiding the murder from our guests.
Tensions mount when several near-fatal “accidents” occur.
Action bounces from a perilous nature walk to an unfortunate goat yoga incident, a mechanical bull mishap, a savage cat, an electrical malfunction, and a staff medical crisis, all culminating in a Thanksgiving feast our guests will never forget.
Warning: This book may contain nuggets of naughty boomer humor.
More About Maureen
Among other things, Maureen is an author of funny & furry adventures & misadventures, guaranteed to tickle the funny bone, lift the spirits, & warm the heart! All her books contain characters you can relate to, an animal or two, and always tons of humor. As Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without humor is a day wasted.”
Transplanted from Scotland to Canada at the tender age of seven, she’s a voracious reader, bridge player, yoga enthusiast, animal lover, seeker of personal and spiritual growth, pickleball enthusiast, and infrequent but avid gourmet cook. Most of all, she and her husband love to travel. She’s swum with sharks in the Galapagos, walked with Bushmen in the Serengeti, sampled lamb criadillas (don’t ask!!!) in Iguazu Falls, snorkeled on the Great Barrier Reef, ridden an elephant in Thailand, watched the sun rise over Machu Picchu, and bounced from Johannesburg to Cape Town for 16 days on a bus called ‘Marula’.
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Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
It’s always fascinating to see what goes into the rewrite process. I’m delighted to welcome Amber Lambda, who shares five changes she made to her YA fantasy novel, Halos. Below, Amber, describes the fiction editing techniques she used when revising her book.
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Rewriting and revising a novel takes a lot of patience and willpower—especially to change and cut away from your beloved, original ideas! But once you get past that bittersweet feeling, it’s so worth it to see your story grow into something you love even better. Here are five of the biggest changes I made to Halos and can’t imagine it without those changes now!
First Chapter Rewrites
As I’m sure most authors would agree, one of the hardest parts of writing a book is getting the first chapter to work right. I started with the list of things that a first chapter needed and checked it all off. I included the story’s theme about chasing dreams, my main character, her goals, conflict with her best friend that helped set up the stakes, and a strong hook at the end to pique the reader’s interest and start the story… but something just wasn’t clicking. After several readers, and just as many rewrites, I realized I had the answer all along. The elements were all there—but they indeed weren’t clicking. Instead of being parts of a complete story coming together, they seemed unrelated. With that magical realization, I rewrote it once more, pulling everything together to fit the overall story and genre, and it did the trick. My beta readers loved it, and so did I!
Added POV
When drafting Halos the first time, I wrote from the limited POV of my protagonist, Faye. During my read-through to start revisions, however, part of the story appeared to be missing. I could fill in the details as the author, but it hadn’t made it to the page for readers to experience. This inspired me to include the love interest’s POV on the next draft. Adding Icarus’s side of the story not only gave insight into the world and plot where Faye’s POV didn’t cover, but it made Icarus’s character arc much richer, paralleling Faye’s arc in a way that wasn’t shown before.
Expanding A Character’s Role
Another element that I changed to make more sense for the reader was bringing Faye’s friend Andrew back into the story at an earlier stage than intended. After relating to Faye’s main internal conflict in the first chapter, he didn’t come up again in person until closer to the end of the story. At first, I brought him back earlier because he reappeared without enough foreshadowing. But his presence also acted as a catalyst for tension throughout the middle of the story, making for a better plot and character motivations.
Removing Characters Who Didn’t Serve The Story
On an opposite note, I cut two characters out from the original story. They added drama and complexity—but that isn’t always what’s best. I found it difficult to layer them into the plot naturally, and they took away from the themes and effect I was aiming for. It was a tough choice, but once I took them out, the message of the story became much clearer and gave more room to emphasize the pieces that highlighted it instead.
Added Connecting Scenes
Have you ever read a book where it almost seemed like you missed something, so you went back to look, and you hadn’t? My early drafts had a few places like that, where readers needed a little more shown about what happened between scenes. In some areas, it worked better to summarize instead of adding an entire scene that would feel like filler. But in most places, I fleshed out new scenes to show what happened, while simultaneously showing character interaction and growth, especially for side characters.
In the end, between the added POV, deeper themes, and the extra connecting scenes, my 36-chapter outline turned into a 43-chapter novel, at just the recommended word count for my genre. And my story transformed into a creation I loved more than ever!
More About Halos
Daydreamer Faye Wallace believes her recurring dreams of flying ships have a purpose beyond fantasy. And when Icarus—her swoon-worthy dream boy—knocks on the door, reality is swept away with her heart. Charged with saving the sky world of Halos from a destiny of prophesied doom, Faye embarks on a journey to relive her whimsical visions. Except for one problem: nothing about Halos matches what she remembers. Including Icarus.
Faye must sift truth from imagination and become the girl who saves her dreams—before they create a nightmare she can’t return from.
Amber Lambda is a YA romance, fantasy, and soft sci-fi author from the dreamy Midwest plains. Her mission is to write stories clean enough for the younger range of the YA crowd, but laced with themes and ideas that older teens (and adults!) will relate to and love just the same.
Hi there! I’m Stacy Juba, an author, freelance editor, and the founder of Shortcuts for Writers. I’d love to connect. If you’re a writer, here are a few ways we can work together:
Remember 
A more modern nonfiction story is “
Starting with the cover, the “double life” of snowmen is suggested by a daytime view of snowmen standing in front of houses, but the bottom half of the cover suggests that these same snowmen have a secret life after dark.
Lewis Jorstad is an author and developmental editor who helps up-and-coming writers hone their writing their craft over at 
