Finishing a novel is a huge milestone, but what happens when your word count spirals far beyond industry expectations? If you’ve ever typed “The End” only to realize your manuscript is too long, you’ll relate to this “Behind the Rewrite” guest post from Bruce Conord. Many writers struggle with cutting words without cutting the heart out of their story.
Bruce shares how he trimmed his thriller without sacrificing tension, voice, or impact. If you’re ready to tighten your manuscript and improve pacing at the same time, you’ll find actionable strategies you can apply right away.
By Bruce Conord
I read the news in horror. I’d just finished writing a thriller novel of 126,000 words when I learned literary agents were unlikely to be interested in a debut novel by a rookie writer if it’s over 100,000. Even worse, their sweet spot was between 85 and 90,000 words. Yikes!
Was there a GLP-1 for losing 30,000 words? Alas, no such pill existed, and my manuscript had already been edited three times! Although my story might be bloated, it was good bloat, and I hated to part with any of it. So, to tackle the problem of runaway words, the first step was to set aside my ego and acknowledge that trimming fat would only improve the novel.
I started with the first page of each chapter. Too many began by building atmosphere, such as describing the ominous weather, perhaps a little backstory, what my character wore, or what a room looked like.
All well-written, I must admit, but did they pass the tests of: “Do all these beginnings add relevant depth to my character (s)? Did they move the plot further along in a meaningful way?” Not so much.
Was there a better place to begin? You bet—85% of the time I cut words, sentences, and paragraphs, and then found an action scene to begin with. And by action, I mean physical movement and dialogue, just not passive writing. Use action verbs to get readers to invest their time in your story.
Next, I applied the same mindset to descriptions. Now I love writers who paint pictures with words, but anything too flowery or unnecessary became ripe for the guillotine. In one case, I even nixed an entire chapter in which my character encounters a corrupt policeman. It decided it was extraneous to the plot, so out came the axe. My thriller novel’s reliance on action highlighted its slower moments, making it easier to cut.
I went to the last paragraph of every chapter to make sure the ending was punchy, short, and dangling—with an ending that left the reader with no choice but to keep going to see what happens. If it didn’t do that, I fixed it. By the time I had finished, the novel was right in the middle of the “sweet spot” word count. And better for it.
About the Book
Come and Get Her: The cartel kidnapped his daughter for ransom. He would make them pay.
Former Special Forces operative Jesse Arroyo thought he’d left the war behind. Then the phone rings—his teenage daughter is missing in Mexico. Within hours, Arroyo is pulled into a brutal world of cartel violence, corrupt power players, and blood-soaked secrets.
To bring her home, he must resurrect the man he swore he’d buried: the relentless warrior who never quits and never forgives.
Teamed with a widowed journalist driven by her own desire for justice, Arroyo plunges across the border in a desperate race to save her.
About the Author
Bruce Conord, an award-winning author of a dozen nonfiction titles, received a Pushcart Prize nomination for his short fiction. He lives in Princeton, NJ, when he’s not in Puerto Morelos, Mexico. His terrorist-themed thriller, Death Watch, will be released later this spring, marking the 25th anniversary of 9/11.
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